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There was a giant sized lump in my throat. Suddenly my legs could barely support me. For a second I almost put the top back on the container, but two hands grabbed the container and my hands lending extra support."You can do it Dad," he said. "It's what she wanted." I know," I told him. "But it just feels like I'm pouring her out. Or ... or throwing her away. It just feels wrong. I feel like I should keep her with me." I was crying like a baby. The tears were moving unimpeded from my eyes, down my cheeks and making little marks on my shirt."What would you do instead, Dad?" asked my 50 year old son. "Keep her in an urn on your mantle?" He looked at me with sympathy in his eyes. "We both know that isn't what my mother wanted. I understand exactly how you feel. You need some physical part of her that you can touch or see, to hold onto. I knew you would Dad. So I cheated just a tiny bit." He handed me a gold chain with a glass pendant on it."There's a tiny bit of her in here that you can. I noticed a few lights on in a couple of my neighbor’s houses, but I didn’t see any movement. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I said out loud. I suddenly saw headlights nearing out on the main road. I thought about running back to the house, but froze instead. The car drove past the cul-de-sac without even slowing down. I started walking again. Once I reached the corner I stopped and looked back toward my house. It looked so far away. I figured I had made it halfway I may as well go the distance. I looked up and down the main street, all clear. I started walking toward the mailboxes. Once I was away from the corner I realized I would have nowhere to hide if a car came down the street, as there is a fence next to the sidewalk in this spot to keep people out of the creek below. I kept walking toward the mailboxes. Just as I got near it, I saw headlights coming my way. I moved behind the boxes, but stayed upright. The car passed by, apparently without noticing me. I was now so excited.
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